|Mom and my nephew, Matt, at a family dinner.|
I attribute it to the realization, the finality that I don't have a living parent in my life. Don't get me wrong. My husband has been an angel during this time, attending to my every need, pain signal and ice request. He's been my rock and I could never have gotten through this without him. My sister-in-law recommended a terrific surgeon and my brother and she were at the hospital during my surgery. Joe's mother had both knees done and she has been a great encouragement and help to me. And, my boss at work, Sister Ann, has sent cards and also been wonderful. My friends have supported me with their prayers, phone calls and one "break-out-of-jail" trip into the country which included lunch.
Mother's Day has recently passed and that day, too, was hard. My mom may have had her bouts with depression and anger, but I loved her and miss her presence, especially since she was in Indiana with us her last four years. Having both my parents gone does force me to lean on God and those important people that He has put into my life. I am grateful and blessed to have such meaningful relationships, both near and far. My surgery has been a reminder that although scar tissue and healing can take many forms, there is a hole in my heart because of my parents' absence that will take many more years to heal, if ever.