Actual note found in outgoing mouse mailbox. The tenants asked that we add the stamp…
My move to Indiana has been great! I found a deluxe apartment on the north side of town. I have many roommates, so I’m never lonely. It’s furnished and we even have daily food delivery, although the variety is a bit sparse.
The landlords deliver cheese and peanut butter to us in black plastic food stations. It’s so nice they are covered so our food stays fresh. They seem new but already the front doors are broken. When we eat, one of us has to hold the door open for the others, as it prematurely closes as soon as we reach the food. We make sure to close the door when we leave, however, to let the landlords know we are finished.
At first, we got shredded cheese, which was messy, but now they are providing larger chunks of cheese. When our landlords check the food stations, they seem surprised that the cheese/peanut butter is gone and they utter a few four-letter words before serving the next meal. Perhaps we should leave them a thank-you note, in case they don’t realize how much we appreciate their contributions!
There are two large, multi-level residences with rubber wheels in the middle of the apartment. One of my more worldly roommates calls them “cars”. Once in a while, they leave the apartment and crush the food stations but new ones appear almost immediately. A maid came through the other day with a leaf blower to clean and I got caught in the stream. I rolled over and over until I was dizzy and had to retreat under one of the cars, while the maid finished up.
I have a room now in one of the cars. At first, I couldn’t find the front door and once found, I had to enlarge the entrance. Guess I’ve gained a few pounds from eating too much! My room is dark, warm and safe from larger animals who might want to eat me. My bed is up in one of the seats where there is a lot of fluffy stuffing. Tiny food snacks are left in various places and once in a while, I travel to far away lands. I make sure to hitch a ride back to the apartment though, so I’m home before dark. The lady landlord operates the car and she made loud shrieking sounds when I sat in the seat next to her, so I now hang out in the back.
A new sound system was installed in one of the cars but, again, it was faulty. It just hummed, made horrible squealing sounds and had an annoying, blinking red light. We had to purchase mouse ear plugs which solved the problem. The system lasted for two months and then suddenly disappeared. I hope the landlords got their money back! Note for future purchases: we prefer country western music or perhaps a classical fugue.
Most recently, the maid brought in these large, smelly Birch Fir sachets. We thought the apartment smelled fine but hey, if they want to freshen up the place, what’s a mouse to do? We’ve ordered mouse breathing masks in bulk, as the smell was giving some of us headaches.
I have to go. We’re having a party tonight and inviting neighbors. This apartment living is awesome!
Your son, Mighty.
Note: No mice were harmed in the research or recounting of this story. This is not something we are proud of!